How to forgive yourself after the unimaginable occurs

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Please meet Sally Kubiak. She is Mind Body Flow Yoga’s featured student for this month’s newsletter. Sally has a beautiful yoga practice and was generous in sharing it with us, as she demonstrates tree pose (Vrikasana).

Sally Shares Her Yoga Journey

When Marina asked me to be the student of the month, I was shocked. I asked her if I could think about it. I guess I was wondering, “why me?”
I have suffered from depression, anxiety, tremors, and low self-esteem for most of my life. I never felt good enough or strong enough. I always felt judged or had people asking me if I was okay because my hands shake. So, yoga for me? NO way!

In March of 2015, I found out I was expecting my third child. My husband and I already had two awesome boys, and now, after 5 years of trying, we were going to add to our family. We were all super excited and then the worst thing happened. I went for my second ultrasound at 12 weeks and learned that the baby I’d imagined inside me had stopped developing. There was no heartbeat. I was devastated because at eight and a half weeks, we heard the baby’s heartbeat and now my hopes and dreams and future for this baby were gone.
The next few weeks were bleak. I was so depressed. My husband and I had to wait for blood tests to confirm the ultrasound results. A few days later, we went in for my D&C procedure. I fell into a real state of depression and I did not want to go on medication, so I tried yoga. I dabbled a little here and there but was never really in love with it, until one day, after dropping my son off at school, I found Mind Body Flow Yoga.

In the spring of 2016, I walked into the studio and saw this petite woman behind the front desk, with an infectious smile that made me feel special. Marina spoke to my soul when I was in chair pose and my legs were shaking. I could hear her voice in the back of my mind throughout class saying, “you can do anything for five seconds.”

I left my first class feeling as though my resistance to yoga was all in my head. I realized this was a new path for me. A practice of patience, long-term growth, and self-acceptance. I have also learned the art of forgiveness. I forgave myself and what I perceived as my broken body and I learned to love it again after it failed me.

Each and every day I feel stronger, grateful, and more confident. Breathing techniques, asanas, meditation, and mindfulness have helped me so much with my depression and anxiety.

I am truly humbled that I get to share my yoga experience with this wonderful community. Thank You, Marina, and the teachers at Mind Body Flow Yoga, for all the encouragement and being a big part of my life.

Thank you, Sally, for sharing your story.
What stood out the most for you in Sally’s journey? Please share it below to let Sally know you appreciated her story.


What is Sally’s Pose About?

*If you have any medical concerns, talk with your doctor before practicing yoga.

This is a grounded balancing pose. The resulting shape is a deep opening through the thighs, calves, and ankles.

Watch Sally enter into this asana from Mountain Pose (Tadasana). She will exit the pose and land back in Mountain Pose (Tadasana) as well.
Here are a few things to keep in mind, if you decide to try this pose, or if you have already started to experiment and play around with it.

Tips for Tree Pose (Vrikasana)

  • Stand in Tadasana. Shift your weight onto the left foot, keeping the left foot and twelve on a clock and the foot rooted firm into the floor.
  • Bend your right knee. Reach down with your right hand and draw your right foot up and place the sole of the foot against the inner left thigh; if possible, press the right heel into the inner left groin, toes pointing toward the floor.
  • Make sure your pelvis is neutral and that your hips are parallel with the front edge of your mat.
  • Lengthen your tailbone towards the floor. Firmly press the right sole of the foot against the inner thigh and resist the outer left leg.
  • Press your hands together in Anjali Mudra (hands together at heart center in prayer).
  • Gaze softly at a foxed point in front of you.
  • Hold for 3 – 5 breaths.
  • Come back to Mountain Pose (Tadasana).

Benefits

  • Strengthens thighs, calves, ankles and spine
  • Stretches the groins and inner thighs, chest and shoulders
  • Improves sense of balance
  • Relieves sciatica and reduces flat feet

Caution

Use caution with this pose if you have:

  • A headache
  • Insomnia
  • Low blood pressure
  • High blood pressure

Always work within your own range of limits and abilities. To begin, ease into this pose and don’t raise arms overhead. If you have any medical concerns, talk with your doctor before practicing yoga.

Enlist the help of an experienced instructor with Tree Pose if this is your first time trying it.
Have you tried this pose before? What has been your experience?

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2 thoughts on “How to forgive yourself after the unimaginable occurs”

  1. Beautiful tree pose. Beautiful practice. You are very consistent and brave and I have noticed your growth. You are thoughtful and cheerful which is the obvious effect of being in this wonderful yoga community. Keep up the good work Sally. Reading about your story gives me more respect and understanding of your efforts and tenacity! Stand in your true north. Beautiful you!

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