I was extremely resistant and stuck in a place of playing it safe when it came to the idea of attending Level Two Training. The training dates fell in such a way that I’d be missing my daughter’s 3rd birthday, as well as my son’s first Halloween.
I would tell myself over and over again that they’re young and wouldn’t know the difference with me being away, but I still was left feeling guilty every time I thought about being away for these special moments.
Yet, despite my resistance, my heart and soul kept telling me to go. I spent much time in deep thought and prayer over this matter and kept coming up with the same answer…GO! And so, I finally surrendered to my gut feeling and signed up for the training, two weeks before it began. Then off to Texas I went, from October 26th – November 2nd.
My experience at Level Two can be summed up in two words, “Eye opening.” The underlying theme of the week was, “Defy the lie.”
The lie being the thing that you tell yourself, which prevents you from living your fullest, happiest, most authentic life. “The lie” can be anything from, “I’m fat,” “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not worthy,” “I’m not lovable,” to “I’m a failure.”
I had known well before attending Level Two, that I have been a people-pleaser for a good portion of my life. I aim to please everyone around me and I feel responsible and like I must fix it, when a person in my life appears less than pleased. But, my “lie,” ran even deeper than that.
It became clear as day to me during my week at Level Two that I aim to please out of a space or “the lie” that I am not good enough. Due to not feeling like I am good enough, I’d go out of my way to try and prove that I was by being concerned for looking good and pleasing everyone around me.
This realization was eye opening and extremely powerful for me. I got clear around the fact that this lie shows up in many areas of my life and it’s an exhausting lie to live in. Baptiste Yoga is big on public declarations. At my Level Two, I declared publicly, in front of all ninety some odd people in my training that,
“The lie that I give up is that I am not good enough. My new way of being is of confidence.”
Declaring this publicly was so freeing.
This declaration, combined with the twice daily sweaty asana practices (lasting as long as 5 and a half hours at times), bearing witness to my breakthrough and that of others, the delicious organic food, incredible roommates that I shared a cabin with, inspiring Baptiste teachers and leaders who led the training, meeting incredible people, making new life-long friends, and so much more…this week was truly out of this world!
I couldn’t have been happier for making the decision to attend and I find myself thinking back on that week often. I am committed to my new way of being and catching myself when and if I start falling back into my lie.
After successfully completing the final test at Level Two, each participant in the training received a bracelet engraved with the words, “Fear Not.” I wear this bracelet everyday as a reminder to fear not and to live from my new way of being…confidence.
My heartfelt thanks to my wonderful, loving teachers who supported me in my attending Level Two Training. My sincere gratitude as well to my students whose love I felt everyday, via picture text messages, captured by my dear teachers. This all meant so much to me during this incredible, yet challenging experience.
My love to you all.
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What has been your “lie” that hold you back? What would your life look like if you let go of it? Please comment below.
